37 Comments, 76 likes

The steady clatter of fingers to keys had a rhythm that was subtly hypnotic. She typed, entranced in the thoughts pouring from her onto the digital canvas. The bluish glow casting cold shade on her tear stained face, red eyes welled and darting with each new word formed on the screen. This was her confessional, this was her private break, soon published.

At first, a jumble of random thoughts and emotions, thrown against the wall like plates and glasses shattering raw. How could she? Why him? Fuck Everything! Broken! Worthless! Unloved!

alone

As her eyes poured each emotion out in harmony with her words, she began to really leave herself, and her fragile heart, on the page. The anguish of losing someone she so dearly loved, the betrayal she felt as he left her for another, the self-doubt about herself. She began cataloging all those things she believed fractured and wrong inside her. The litany of monsters and failures that chased away the man she desperately desired and needed like breath. Each failing pounded into the keys like chisel to stone, each self-recrimination memorialized with the power and force of pitiful resignation.

She didn’t proof her work, no edits, without image. She brought this resume of faults and failings to a bitter resolve in the simple act of clicking…publish.

And then she fell down. The break of her heart, audible.

Wailing out to some universal power, cursing and pleading for some merciful respite from the anguish. A desperate prayer crying out unanswered. A woman undone and done. Complete emotional collapse.

The sun rose the next morning.

She opened swollen eyes to a dawn that part of her wished would have never arrived. She felt sore and hollow and ashamed. She needed to read what she had done. She began to softly cry again, not from her own words, but those of others. Friends and strangers alike. 37 comments and 76 likes, all saying the same thing, each in their own wonderful and honest way, but the message was heartfelt and overwhelming.

“You are loved.”

The healing of her heart, audible.

 

 

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