How does a cum-slut,
Cock-hungry, Submissive housewife,
Caught in the gloom of a vanilla sex-life to her partner,
With no one to gently flog her,
Wind up as the world’s top Erotic Blogger?
This tense Mother, significant other was a dud,
Got a lot wetter, by writing a lot hotter,
Smut that was a lot smarter, made all the cocks harder,
Now the Queen, she writes at the top of the blogging gutter!
Well her post got around, Her followers went insane, man.
They took to sending dick pics and typing just with one hand,
Got notified by email every time she said she came,
The Blogosphere’s gonna know her name,
What’s your name, Ma’am?
Screen name is “All-Sex-Amber Whoremilton”,
There’s a million dudes I must make cum,
Just you wait,
Just you wait!
(All apologies to Lin-Manuel Miranda…and, I suppose, Alexander Hamilton.)